Monday, September 5, 2011

My life is hilarious...

So, I was trying to think of something I should blog about that didn't involve moving since that's all I can think about right now. And guess what....? I realized I have a hilarious story for you.
SO... I am 26. Which means that a DECADE (that's 10 years people) ago, I had just turned 16. In my family the year you turned 16 meant that you got to go to BYU for a little thing known as Especially For Youth or EFY. I was pretty excited to be able to go and be on my own for a whole week. This was a big deal because I was at the age where I could now date.
When we got sorted into our groups I was way happy to find out that 5 people were from Arizona and 2 even went to nearby high schools! I had high hopes that we were going to remain friends and see each other at football games and all those silly things that pass through the mind of a 16 year old girl. Anyway, one of the kids was an 18 year old boy who told me that once we all got back home he would call and ask me on a date. I was quite flustered because this would be my first date. WHOA.
Well time went by and EFY ended and sure enough he called me. I couldn't go when he originally wanted to because I had girls camp that week. Then the week after he called again and suggested a different night. I asked my mom and dad if I HAD to go and they said yes, because it takes a lot of courage to ask someone out. My mom did not see what was going to be so hard and said something along the lines of "just get it over with". Little did she know...
The specified day finally rolled around and I was really nervous. I kept thinking about how awkward it was going to be based on the fact that we only spent a few hours altogether throughout our week at EFY. Finally the doorbell rang, and I ran and hid in my room. I heard my mom answer the door, look at the boy and say "Meredith, Verity! One of your friends is here". This was the first bad sign. You see, I was at least 3 inches taller than this kid. So my mom automatically assumed by his stature that he was here for my younger siblings. He introduced himself and said he was actually looking for ME. She invited him in and came to retrieve me from my shamed and hidden state of mind. She gave me a pep talk and said "it's just one date. Then you never have to go out again". I wish it had been that easy.
I briefly introduced him and then we left. We walked out to his car and to my HORROR, discovered that his dad had driven him to my house. Oh no... Then his dad goes on to explain that my date had been worried he would get lost and so, he volunteered to pick me up. The entire way back to his house we talked a little about school and church events and I just felt sick to my stomach. But I figured that the worst was over and I became determined to have a good first date. Too bad fate had other, more "interesting" plans.
We arrived at his house where I learned that we would be attending a concert. But now just ANY concert. A concert where one of those acapella boy bands would be performing. You know, InsideOut, 259... that kind of thing. I didn't know who the band was but tried to maintain a smile and be polite. Then our double date couple arrived and my heart sank... His cousin and HIS girlfriend would be accompanying us and not only were they all older than me, but also significantly shorter. To say that I looked like the jolly green giant would NOT be an understatement (except for the green skin thing).
We arrive at said concert and it turns out that the boy band sings some songs I know! I was so excited I that I completely forgot my surroundings and gave in to temptation... I began to sing along! The trio of other people I was with whipped their heads around to look at me and I knew by the looks on their faces that they were shocked I had done such a thing. In my defense, we are a very musically inclined family. I sing out loud all the time. Plus, other people in the audience were doing it so I just thought I would too.
I slunk back into my seat (yes, I stood up AND belted along) mortified that I had even accepted the offer to this date. After the concert they decided that an activity would not be enough and we would need to stop for some sort of nourishment. Enter Jamba Juice. A magical place I had never been that would make you a fruit smoothie of your choosing and you didn't even have to clean it up. AWESOME. By far, my favorite moment of the evening. However, fate decided to toy with my already disastrous date even more by allowing my date and the other couple to bring up my mid-show karaoke performance. I quickly excused myself for the restroom and pretended to vomit as a sure-fire exit strategy to end the date of doom. On our way back home I made sure to moan and groan as much as possible so my cover would not be blown and said a hurried goodbye without a hug because let's face it, what guy wants to hug a girl that sounded like she was going to empty the contents of her stomach all over him. Yeah.
I ran in my house told my parents I was back and that I would NEVER go on a date with someone shorter than me ever again. Then my dad laughed because my mom mentioned her first encounter with my date and explained how she thought he was here for my sisters. They laughed, while I was embarrassed.
This is in my top 10 worst dates of all time and only gets the ranking of #1 because it was my first date so, I thought it more appropriate. And have no fear because the rest of the top 10 will also be getting a post. Oh and here's a picture of me from 10 years ago so you can see just HOW not tall I am and how awkward I used to be.


  1. I love you Bee, but you are not tall. You are regular sized. Which means that your date was SUPER-short!! Haha!

    I was taller than my first date too.

  2. Dude, you were super cute at 16 (and still are) and don't deny it.

  3. oh goodness. That is pretty awesome.

  4. I think I am the #1 date of all time! :) I love you babycakes!

    Worker Bee